Ok, so I need some feedback on this one. I've gone back and forth with this for so, so long.. and I'd like your input.
So, since last February I have worked for the Columbus County School District. I have been their public relations coordinator, web master and grant writer (among countless other duties). My contract was supposed to run from February 2009 to February 2010. The contract with these dates was signed by both the school district and I. They told me that if I broke it, I would have to pay $2,500. Well, this past summer our district had drastic budget cuts. Because I was the most recently hired, I assumed that my position wouldn't be renewed in March when my contract ended, but I was ok with it if it happened because I was getting married and moving back to Ohio in April anyway. Well, sure enough I was told that my last day would be the last day of February. Ok. Fine. I'd deal with it.
Well, fast forward. I got back from Christmas break (which you read about in my previous post). On my first day back my boss, our superintendent, called me into his office. He first asked about my grandfather.. as I'm talking about him and starting to cry, he says.. as though he's talking about the wedding.. "Oh, and by the way you only have two weeks."
"Two weeks for what?" I say.. assuming he's giving me an assignment.. but also confused why he's changing the subject from me crying and explaining my grandfather's situations.
"Your last day has been moved to 2 weeks from today. You haven't done anything wrong, it's strictly a financial situation. And don't bother applying for unemployment because state employees like you aren't eligible," he says.
Ok. I was in complete SHOCK. First of all, I was counting on those two months of paychecks to help pay for a ton of wedding stuff.. and well.. for my life?!
After a little while, I eventually stopped crying. My mom, the sensible one, told me I needed to find out when my health insurance would end. She also so that unless there was a clause in my contract, she was pretty sure that they were breaking my contract illegally. Well, when I contacted the lady about my insurance I was in for a RUDE awakening. This is what she said: "Well, hun, I'm looking at your contract and it turns out that if you would've been there to February 1st, they would've had to pay your health insurance for one full year. That's part of the rifting law for education employees; if you've been there a year, they have to pay your insurance for one full year.. but since you'll be two weeks shy of that.. your insurance will end March 1st.. And.. hun.. if you were my daughter, I'd tell you to get a lawyer because they're breaking your contract illegally so that they don't have to pay your health insurance for a year."
I WAS FURIOUS! I have given everything to my position. I have gotten the district more than 2 million dollars in grant funding. I've conducted countless workshops. I've written more than 50 news articles. I've written more than 60 press releases. I've restructured their web site. I've worked nights and weekends to cover events - and I didn't get paid overtime people! Ughh and soooo soooo much more! And for what? For them to be screwing me out of what should've been rightfully mine? Well, this was only the tip of the iceburg.
A few days later someone mentioned to me that I should really look into the unemployment issue because they thought he was lying about me being ineligible. And he had lied. He lied straight to my face. I was/am eligible for unemployment. The probelm is, AGAIN, though that since I'm two weeks shy of my one year mark I will get unemployment for 6 fewer months and for a lot less money per month. GRRRRR. So, again, they're breaking my contract in order to save themselves money??!!?!
A few more days pass. My brother mentions that I should ask about my sick days. How many do I have left? Can I cash them in? Etc. So, I ask. The lady shuts her door and says, "Well, you get 100 dollars a day, and you have 2 left.. but on February 1st you were due to get 9 more.. and Alicia, don't tell anyone I said this.. but I think you should get a lawyer. They're breaking your contract and it's saving them a lot of money.. but it's unfair to you.. and everyone knows it.. they just don't think you'll do anything."
Well after this information.. and the days prior.. I started to get FURIOUS. I mean I am not rich. I need all the money I deserve. I mean maybe I'll get a job right away, but what if I don't? I'm getting married in 3 months. We need an income. We need a savings. I need health insurance until at the very least I can get on Andy's after we are married. I deserve the money that is rightfully mine, as agreed to in a legally binding contract. And on top of all of that, after all I did for the school district and for my boss (who I helped plan his daughter's wedding and edited his son in laws college essays constantly).. after all of that, they're just kicking me to the curb. And it's insulting. They did it believing that I'd be stupid enough to not figure out that they were breaking my contract. He honestly thought that if he told me I wasn't eligible for unemployment.. I'd believe him. That's insulting. I'm not ignorant. I'm not stupid.. at all.
In the end, I just feel so unappreciated, and it hurts. It really does. I've put my heart and sole into this position. And if I've learned one thing from this it's that in the end, most bosses don't care about you. They care about money. It doesn't matter how many times you make them look great or help them with countless tasks that aren't part of your job description - it's all forgotten. At least that's how I feel...
So, after having a few lawyers in my church look at my contract, everyone seems to agree that I would win a case if I pursued it. BUT it would be drawn out for at least a year.. and is that really how I want to start my marriage? A year of stress because of a law suit? And even though both my bosses wrote recommendation letters, all legal advisers I've spoken to have said that they will absolutely try to downgrade all I've done, and will attack me as a person.. which for a girl with no self esteem.. well, doesn't sound like my cup of tea. Not to mention that at first, I'd have to pay a lawyer out of my own pocket.. and I'm broke as it is..
So, there's the situation.. a very shortened version of it anyway.. so what do you think? Take legal action on principle alone and to get what's rightfully mine? Or don't take legal action and just let it all go and forge forward into a peaceful, less stressful foundation to my upcoming marriage (FYI sooo excited for my wedding xoxo).
I seriously need some input :)!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Grandpa Coffman
Ok so I think I’ve put this off for far too long. I wasn’t even sure how to start this blog entry. I thought I’d get back from ohio and have this amazing blog update – filled with the happiness of my trip home. Instead, all those happy memories are faded and tainted in some way with what happened my last few days at home. On January 1st my parents left for their vacation in florida. My grandfather had been in Marietta Memorial Hospital because of some back pain, which ended up being identified as kidney stones. On the 1st he was supposed to have a routine surgery to remove the stones. Andy and I had a relaxed morning. I had never seen the movie “A Christmas Story” (I know, I know.. shocking!) so we settled in to watch the movie. It was so nice to just lay on the couch and giggle. Anyway the thought occurred to me that my parents had never called to let me know that they’d made it to the airport.
Moments later my sister joel called. She was crying and immediately I heard the panic in her voice. She asked me something, but all I could hear were the words “hear about” and “mom and dad.” I immediately assumed something had happened to my parents; either in the ride to the airport or their flight to florida. I fell to the floor and just started to sob uncontrollably (the first of many times I would do this in the upcoming week). As joel continued to explain the situation, it was that in fact my parents were fine, but they’d called to tell joel that in my grandpa’s routine surgery, his heart had stopped for 22 minutes.
Now, for those of you who don’t know, all four of my grandparents are alive. I’ve never experience losing a relative. None. And so I remember when friend’s lost grandparents, I’m ashamed to say that I would think to myself, “Aw, that’s so sad.. but they had a long life, and they’re in a better place.” I hate that I honestly thought that. I hate when people say it to me now. The way I felt when Joel told me is simply unexplainable. I felt a mixture of emotions. at first all I thought about was my little, hilarious, adorable grandfather and my most recent memories with him. I wept at the idea that he wouldn’t be at my wedding.. my children would never know him as joel’s have gotten to know him. I was worried about my father being unable to make it back from florida in time to say goodbye. I knew he would feel so guilty for not having been there before the surgery. And my protective instincts toward my parents kicked in (why I am so protective of them I don’t know, it should be the other way around but never has been). Then I thought of my grandmother, so frail. I immediately just pictured her lonely future of sadness. All the while I am just sobbing on the floor.
Andy immediately dropped to the floor with me, and while he asked me what was going on, I couldn’t muster the strength to tell him. It was like if I said it, it’d become real.. and I just couldn’t do it. That just added to my internal turmoil of emotions. I felt bad I wasn’t telling him.. I couldn’t imagine what he must’ve been thinking could’ve happened.. but I just couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t. finally, I said it. And saying it only made it worse. I couldn’t breath. My face was covered in what can only be disgustingly explained as a snotty, tearful mess. After about twenty minutes of pure agony on the ground, andy and I drove into joel’s house. It was there that andy had a feeling he should offer to drive because of the weather. When he said it, I thought it was so odd, I mean we were just going to Marietta for an hour or so to visit my grandpa, and it wasn’t even snowing. But, we did it anyway.
When we got to Marietta memorial I had no idea what was in store for me. SIDE NOTE: I hate seeing people suffering. Whether it be on a movie, a complete stranger in public or people I know and love – I can’t stand to see it. My heart literally breaks for others. I suppose that’s why I get so attached to reality t.v. shows. I connect with people. I feel for them. I hate to see other people in pain. I just hate it. I cry at commercials. I cry in any movie or tv show when a heart is broken or someone gets cheated on. Yes, I’m that emotional, I suppose crazy to some, girl.
When we walked toward the ICU where I knew my grandfather was, I saw my Uncle Terry. He looked utterly destroyed. The tears started again. He told us that my grandpa had not woke up since his heart stopped and that they were life flighting him to Columbus so that he could get an EEG. We didn’t understand why they couldn’t do that in Marietta, to which we were told it was because it was a holiday. Well, um excuse me, why are hospitals on holiday? I thought they were a 24/7 business.. I mean these are peoples lives we’re talking about. Grr. As we walked to the room, I felt the tears raging in a new, stronger form. As I saw my cousins sobbing and my dad’s brothers completely heart broken, my sensitive heart hit an all time low. And then I saw my grandmother. Her tearful eyes met mine, and I felt my heart break into a million pieces. We embraced. I didn’t want to let go. I felt like I should be strong for her, as if to tell her it would be ok, but I couldn’t. I bit my lip. It didn’t stop the tears. I looked up to the light, didn’t work. Nothing worked. And I couldn’t be strong for her. And it killed me on the inside that I couldn’t. it destroyed me. It really did.
QUICK VENT ON HATING MARIETTA MEMORIAL: so, you can picture the scene. About 7 grandchildren around his bed, crying. His frail, body with machines and wires encasing and surrounding his seemingly lifeless body. My aunts in complete shambles. His sons looking almost lifeless, as though they’d removed themselves from the situation so they couldn’t feel the pain. And what happens? A nurse comes traipsing in and is laughing, hysterically.. yelling at another nurse, “Yeah no kidding. I f%&# hate doctors, I wish they’d just go home.” Um.. ok.. I thought.. this is a reverent, sad moment. Who are you?! “Sorry guys, we just make ourselves home here!” she yells, laughing again. She literally acted as though she was drunk. She was sloppy. She pulled things off his body as though she was playing a game of pin the tail on the donkey. I hated her. I despised her. I channeled my sadness into just hating her with my eyes, as though that would make her shut up and have some respect for the situation. It didn’t work. It made me sick. Then she asks my grandmother if she stole an x-ray chart because they can’t find it and they need to send it with him to Columbus. At this ridiculous, disrespectful accusation my uncle couldn’t handle it. He said in a strong, protective voice, “She didn’t take anything, and I suggest you find it and do your job and leave my mother alone.” I’d never felt more proud to be his niece.
Eventually the helicopter came. Because my grandpa is so light, they said that someone could ride with him. It was decided that my uncle chris would go b/c he was the lightest of the brothers. He didn’t seem too happy about being elected, but agreed he would go. The lady with the life flight group said that she had seen my grandpa grimace when she took some tape off his chest. She said that was a good sign because that meant his brain was functioning; he was feeling pain. This gave me hope. It really did. We decided to leave from there to Columbus Riverside Hospital. On the drive we listened to the Ohio State Football bowl game. Usually, this would’ve been the highlight of my year. I love OSU football, and I mean love. But on this day, I couldn’t have cared less. I really couldn’t have.
Eventually we made it to the hospital. After making our way through the various color-coded sections we found ourselves on the 4th floor of the blue section – the ICU. The four of us acted like we owned the place. The door said the ICU was closed, but we went right in, looked at the bored to see which room was his, and walked directly back to the room. The hope that the life flight lady had given me was short lived. As soon as we saw my uncle he told us that the doctor had told him that my grandfather’s chances were “grim.” Within 10 minutes or so this so-called doctor came into the room. He looked about 19 years old, and he had the people skills of a mute smurf. Well he told us that my grandpa had failed all the physical tests and that he had no brain activity. He could tell this also, he said, because my grandfather wasn’t opening his eyes or gagging. Well, in the few minutes we’d been in the room before this %^#@@# doctor came in he had gagged twice and when chris said his name, he appeared to be trying to open his eyes. He was responsive, I promise you that. We told the doctor this and he told us that we were wrong. We hadn’t seen that. So apparently he could read our minds and knew all as well *sarcasm* Also, apparently joel, eric, andy and I must all be blind and stupid. Good to know. We then said we’d like the EEG to be done because that is afterall why we were sent to Columbus. He said that they wouldn’t do it. It would be inconclusive and a waste of time because he’d “failed” the physical responsive tests (no he didn’t!). My uncle chris pleaded, please do the test. We need to know if the brain has any activity before we make any decisions. Chris told him, we would pay. He begged the doctor to do it. The doctor just kept rolling his eyes and rudely told chris that we needed to be making arrangements, not be concerned with an EEG. Anyway, with not even a hint of sympathy he told us that the last chance possible for my grandfather was for him to go under a hypothermia treatment. Even more, he said we had 5 minutes to decide whether or not to do this because it had to be done within 8 hours of the heart stopping.
Wow.
First of all, if it was so critical to have happened within 8 hours why did Marietta memorial not even mention it?! How insensitive and ridiculous is that?! Well, we decided, yes, lets try it.. we want to do all we can. Well 40 minutes pass and nothing has happened. This upsets me to no end! Why tell us we had 5 minutes to decide because it was a race against time.. but then not start for 40 minutes? Eventually they began, and within five minutes of them trying to cool his body down he came to. And I mean came to! He was opening his eyes and pulling away from them! The man didn’t want to be cold people! So.. dr. narcissist %^#^$#@ was wrong! We were right! He was responding! He had brain activity. That doctor didn’t show his face again – thank goodness – because I’m here to tell you I would’ve hurt him. He wouldn’t have been able to have children.
Ok. Here comes the sweet, adorable part!! He hadn’t fully opened his eyes, but he was responding and shaking his head for answers. Then my grandmother got there. She went to his side and grabbed his hand and said, “Ralph, it’s me sweetie. Can you hear me.” His eyes shot open! And through the tubes he forced the biggest smile. I cried sooo hard! It was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen. He was just waiting on my grandmother to open his eyes! He wanted to see the most beautiful woman first! **tearing up just writing about it**
Now, throughout all of that was A LOT of sobbing. It was hours of andy holding me, telling me that it would be ok, showing me so much love and compassion (exactly why I’m marrying him xoxo) In the end, my parents made it back (by a pure miracle and just barely getting on a flight) and my grandfather was stable and responding. The only problem was that he didn’t make sense all the time. He was seeing things, and even if you told him, he wouldn’t believe or remember that he was in the hospital. What amazed me, though, was that even in this state of confusion, four main themes often came up.
1. He loved my grandmother, and they will have their 60th wedding anniversary on April 22nd.
2. His farm. He loves hard work, and his animals.
3. His church. He often told people he was in church, and when a nurse was typing on the computer – he insisted that she was playing church hymns. He often would break out into church songs.
4. His family. He remembered all of our names and exactly what was going on in our lives. Every single grandchild. He knew us, he loved us. And he’d tell anyone who would listen to him – albeit numerous times over and over because he forgot he’d just told you.
Now to me, I thought this was powerful. The doctors were saying he was crazy and delusional, but to me I was so proud to be his granddaughter. I am the granddaughter of a man who even when drugged and delusional is able to have such amazing priorities: family, his wife, his farm and his religion. To me this is such a testament to what a wonderful man he truly is. My grandfather, my entire life, has worked incredibly hard. Even at 80 years old, he worked every single day. He is an incredibly loving, funny, hardworking man with strong faith and values. I am so lucky to have been sent to his family. I truly am.
On the way home from the hospital that night it was a snowy mess! a complete blizzard. i immediately was so grateful that heavenly father had prompted andy to drive his truck, which has 4 wheel drive. without it, i don't know how we could've made it home! i really don't.
For now, things are progressing. He has good days and bad days. Some days he makes complete sense all day and is back to his cute, funny self. Other days, he is seeing things and trying to get out of his bed. My father has spent countless, exhausting hours at his side struggling to keep him in bed and keeping him calm. (My father's love and devotion is so touching to me as well.) in the meantime, I often break down into tears. Its’ a roller coaster. Some days they say he has 2 weeks, others 10 years. Either way I continue to tell myself to just breathe. And I pray.. a lot!
Miracles happen every single day.
A families love and bond is real.
Doctors can be wrong, and prayers are answered to prove them wrong every single day.
I love my grandfather, and continue to pray for his recovery!
I love you Grandpa Coffman
Moments later my sister joel called. She was crying and immediately I heard the panic in her voice. She asked me something, but all I could hear were the words “hear about” and “mom and dad.” I immediately assumed something had happened to my parents; either in the ride to the airport or their flight to florida. I fell to the floor and just started to sob uncontrollably (the first of many times I would do this in the upcoming week). As joel continued to explain the situation, it was that in fact my parents were fine, but they’d called to tell joel that in my grandpa’s routine surgery, his heart had stopped for 22 minutes.
Now, for those of you who don’t know, all four of my grandparents are alive. I’ve never experience losing a relative. None. And so I remember when friend’s lost grandparents, I’m ashamed to say that I would think to myself, “Aw, that’s so sad.. but they had a long life, and they’re in a better place.” I hate that I honestly thought that. I hate when people say it to me now. The way I felt when Joel told me is simply unexplainable. I felt a mixture of emotions. at first all I thought about was my little, hilarious, adorable grandfather and my most recent memories with him. I wept at the idea that he wouldn’t be at my wedding.. my children would never know him as joel’s have gotten to know him. I was worried about my father being unable to make it back from florida in time to say goodbye. I knew he would feel so guilty for not having been there before the surgery. And my protective instincts toward my parents kicked in (why I am so protective of them I don’t know, it should be the other way around but never has been). Then I thought of my grandmother, so frail. I immediately just pictured her lonely future of sadness. All the while I am just sobbing on the floor.
Andy immediately dropped to the floor with me, and while he asked me what was going on, I couldn’t muster the strength to tell him. It was like if I said it, it’d become real.. and I just couldn’t do it. That just added to my internal turmoil of emotions. I felt bad I wasn’t telling him.. I couldn’t imagine what he must’ve been thinking could’ve happened.. but I just couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t. finally, I said it. And saying it only made it worse. I couldn’t breath. My face was covered in what can only be disgustingly explained as a snotty, tearful mess. After about twenty minutes of pure agony on the ground, andy and I drove into joel’s house. It was there that andy had a feeling he should offer to drive because of the weather. When he said it, I thought it was so odd, I mean we were just going to Marietta for an hour or so to visit my grandpa, and it wasn’t even snowing. But, we did it anyway.
When we got to Marietta memorial I had no idea what was in store for me. SIDE NOTE: I hate seeing people suffering. Whether it be on a movie, a complete stranger in public or people I know and love – I can’t stand to see it. My heart literally breaks for others. I suppose that’s why I get so attached to reality t.v. shows. I connect with people. I feel for them. I hate to see other people in pain. I just hate it. I cry at commercials. I cry in any movie or tv show when a heart is broken or someone gets cheated on. Yes, I’m that emotional, I suppose crazy to some, girl.
When we walked toward the ICU where I knew my grandfather was, I saw my Uncle Terry. He looked utterly destroyed. The tears started again. He told us that my grandpa had not woke up since his heart stopped and that they were life flighting him to Columbus so that he could get an EEG. We didn’t understand why they couldn’t do that in Marietta, to which we were told it was because it was a holiday. Well, um excuse me, why are hospitals on holiday? I thought they were a 24/7 business.. I mean these are peoples lives we’re talking about. Grr. As we walked to the room, I felt the tears raging in a new, stronger form. As I saw my cousins sobbing and my dad’s brothers completely heart broken, my sensitive heart hit an all time low. And then I saw my grandmother. Her tearful eyes met mine, and I felt my heart break into a million pieces. We embraced. I didn’t want to let go. I felt like I should be strong for her, as if to tell her it would be ok, but I couldn’t. I bit my lip. It didn’t stop the tears. I looked up to the light, didn’t work. Nothing worked. And I couldn’t be strong for her. And it killed me on the inside that I couldn’t. it destroyed me. It really did.
QUICK VENT ON HATING MARIETTA MEMORIAL: so, you can picture the scene. About 7 grandchildren around his bed, crying. His frail, body with machines and wires encasing and surrounding his seemingly lifeless body. My aunts in complete shambles. His sons looking almost lifeless, as though they’d removed themselves from the situation so they couldn’t feel the pain. And what happens? A nurse comes traipsing in and is laughing, hysterically.. yelling at another nurse, “Yeah no kidding. I f%&# hate doctors, I wish they’d just go home.” Um.. ok.. I thought.. this is a reverent, sad moment. Who are you?! “Sorry guys, we just make ourselves home here!” she yells, laughing again. She literally acted as though she was drunk. She was sloppy. She pulled things off his body as though she was playing a game of pin the tail on the donkey. I hated her. I despised her. I channeled my sadness into just hating her with my eyes, as though that would make her shut up and have some respect for the situation. It didn’t work. It made me sick. Then she asks my grandmother if she stole an x-ray chart because they can’t find it and they need to send it with him to Columbus. At this ridiculous, disrespectful accusation my uncle couldn’t handle it. He said in a strong, protective voice, “She didn’t take anything, and I suggest you find it and do your job and leave my mother alone.” I’d never felt more proud to be his niece.
Eventually the helicopter came. Because my grandpa is so light, they said that someone could ride with him. It was decided that my uncle chris would go b/c he was the lightest of the brothers. He didn’t seem too happy about being elected, but agreed he would go. The lady with the life flight group said that she had seen my grandpa grimace when she took some tape off his chest. She said that was a good sign because that meant his brain was functioning; he was feeling pain. This gave me hope. It really did. We decided to leave from there to Columbus Riverside Hospital. On the drive we listened to the Ohio State Football bowl game. Usually, this would’ve been the highlight of my year. I love OSU football, and I mean love. But on this day, I couldn’t have cared less. I really couldn’t have.
Eventually we made it to the hospital. After making our way through the various color-coded sections we found ourselves on the 4th floor of the blue section – the ICU. The four of us acted like we owned the place. The door said the ICU was closed, but we went right in, looked at the bored to see which room was his, and walked directly back to the room. The hope that the life flight lady had given me was short lived. As soon as we saw my uncle he told us that the doctor had told him that my grandfather’s chances were “grim.” Within 10 minutes or so this so-called doctor came into the room. He looked about 19 years old, and he had the people skills of a mute smurf. Well he told us that my grandpa had failed all the physical tests and that he had no brain activity. He could tell this also, he said, because my grandfather wasn’t opening his eyes or gagging. Well, in the few minutes we’d been in the room before this %^#@@# doctor came in he had gagged twice and when chris said his name, he appeared to be trying to open his eyes. He was responsive, I promise you that. We told the doctor this and he told us that we were wrong. We hadn’t seen that. So apparently he could read our minds and knew all as well *sarcasm* Also, apparently joel, eric, andy and I must all be blind and stupid. Good to know. We then said we’d like the EEG to be done because that is afterall why we were sent to Columbus. He said that they wouldn’t do it. It would be inconclusive and a waste of time because he’d “failed” the physical responsive tests (no he didn’t!). My uncle chris pleaded, please do the test. We need to know if the brain has any activity before we make any decisions. Chris told him, we would pay. He begged the doctor to do it. The doctor just kept rolling his eyes and rudely told chris that we needed to be making arrangements, not be concerned with an EEG. Anyway, with not even a hint of sympathy he told us that the last chance possible for my grandfather was for him to go under a hypothermia treatment. Even more, he said we had 5 minutes to decide whether or not to do this because it had to be done within 8 hours of the heart stopping.
Wow.
First of all, if it was so critical to have happened within 8 hours why did Marietta memorial not even mention it?! How insensitive and ridiculous is that?! Well, we decided, yes, lets try it.. we want to do all we can. Well 40 minutes pass and nothing has happened. This upsets me to no end! Why tell us we had 5 minutes to decide because it was a race against time.. but then not start for 40 minutes? Eventually they began, and within five minutes of them trying to cool his body down he came to. And I mean came to! He was opening his eyes and pulling away from them! The man didn’t want to be cold people! So.. dr. narcissist %^#^$#@ was wrong! We were right! He was responding! He had brain activity. That doctor didn’t show his face again – thank goodness – because I’m here to tell you I would’ve hurt him. He wouldn’t have been able to have children.
Ok. Here comes the sweet, adorable part!! He hadn’t fully opened his eyes, but he was responding and shaking his head for answers. Then my grandmother got there. She went to his side and grabbed his hand and said, “Ralph, it’s me sweetie. Can you hear me.” His eyes shot open! And through the tubes he forced the biggest smile. I cried sooo hard! It was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen. He was just waiting on my grandmother to open his eyes! He wanted to see the most beautiful woman first! **tearing up just writing about it**
Now, throughout all of that was A LOT of sobbing. It was hours of andy holding me, telling me that it would be ok, showing me so much love and compassion (exactly why I’m marrying him xoxo) In the end, my parents made it back (by a pure miracle and just barely getting on a flight) and my grandfather was stable and responding. The only problem was that he didn’t make sense all the time. He was seeing things, and even if you told him, he wouldn’t believe or remember that he was in the hospital. What amazed me, though, was that even in this state of confusion, four main themes often came up.
1. He loved my grandmother, and they will have their 60th wedding anniversary on April 22nd.
2. His farm. He loves hard work, and his animals.
3. His church. He often told people he was in church, and when a nurse was typing on the computer – he insisted that she was playing church hymns. He often would break out into church songs.
4. His family. He remembered all of our names and exactly what was going on in our lives. Every single grandchild. He knew us, he loved us. And he’d tell anyone who would listen to him – albeit numerous times over and over because he forgot he’d just told you.
Now to me, I thought this was powerful. The doctors were saying he was crazy and delusional, but to me I was so proud to be his granddaughter. I am the granddaughter of a man who even when drugged and delusional is able to have such amazing priorities: family, his wife, his farm and his religion. To me this is such a testament to what a wonderful man he truly is. My grandfather, my entire life, has worked incredibly hard. Even at 80 years old, he worked every single day. He is an incredibly loving, funny, hardworking man with strong faith and values. I am so lucky to have been sent to his family. I truly am.
On the way home from the hospital that night it was a snowy mess! a complete blizzard. i immediately was so grateful that heavenly father had prompted andy to drive his truck, which has 4 wheel drive. without it, i don't know how we could've made it home! i really don't.
For now, things are progressing. He has good days and bad days. Some days he makes complete sense all day and is back to his cute, funny self. Other days, he is seeing things and trying to get out of his bed. My father has spent countless, exhausting hours at his side struggling to keep him in bed and keeping him calm. (My father's love and devotion is so touching to me as well.) in the meantime, I often break down into tears. Its’ a roller coaster. Some days they say he has 2 weeks, others 10 years. Either way I continue to tell myself to just breathe. And I pray.. a lot!
Miracles happen every single day.
A families love and bond is real.
Doctors can be wrong, and prayers are answered to prove them wrong every single day.
I love my grandfather, and continue to pray for his recovery!
I love you Grandpa Coffman
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Tiger, I don't like you.
First, I promised an update. Andy made it home safely. He got home after midnight, which I didn't like. But, he did make it home safely even though it was snowing in the mountains. Driving in snow is difficult enough without adding in having a heavy trailer behind your truck weaving back and forth :( soo glad my prayers were answered, and andy made it home safe :)
Secondly, I can't help myself, I must vent about tiger woods. I am SICK of all these famous men cheating, lying and thinking that they are above the law. Why won't he talk to the police? If i locked myself in my house and resisted being interviewed by the cops over an accident, they'd bust my door down and arrest me. but b/c he's tiger woods he can just keep canceling their appointments for him to be interviewed?! why?! how?! also, i find it interesting that just two years ago he was talking about Michael vick saying, "if you do something wrong you need to be honest and just come forward and tell everyone what happened." (i heard the sound bite on the radio). but now that the tables are turned he's being a coward and not owning up?! and to top that, he's making up the most ridiculous cover-up story that i've EVER heard. then on top of that he proclaims he won't be attending his golf tournament for his charity b/c of "injuries." well, he was injured last year, and he still showed up and thanked ppl for coming and raising 30 some million dollars. i'm just sitting here thinking, "HELLO!? do you know what a #$@##$% you're making yourself look like? your story is ridiculous, and everyone knows it's a lie. now you're backing out of even appearing at an event where a lot of people are spending a lot of money on the assumption that you'll be there. i mean out of decency to your charity you should show up. mainly, i just hate cheaters. maybe he didn't cheat. i don't know. but what else could've happened at 2 a.m. to cause tiger woods to leave his home going that fast and losing control? and why else would the wife be chasing after him with a golf club? but it doesn't even matter. if he cheated or if he didn't, it makes me EXTREMELY angry that he thinks he is above the law b/c he can hit a golf ball. he should be treated exactly as every other human is treated in america if they get into a car accident. GRRRR.
Secondly, I can't help myself, I must vent about tiger woods. I am SICK of all these famous men cheating, lying and thinking that they are above the law. Why won't he talk to the police? If i locked myself in my house and resisted being interviewed by the cops over an accident, they'd bust my door down and arrest me. but b/c he's tiger woods he can just keep canceling their appointments for him to be interviewed?! why?! how?! also, i find it interesting that just two years ago he was talking about Michael vick saying, "if you do something wrong you need to be honest and just come forward and tell everyone what happened." (i heard the sound bite on the radio). but now that the tables are turned he's being a coward and not owning up?! and to top that, he's making up the most ridiculous cover-up story that i've EVER heard. then on top of that he proclaims he won't be attending his golf tournament for his charity b/c of "injuries." well, he was injured last year, and he still showed up and thanked ppl for coming and raising 30 some million dollars. i'm just sitting here thinking, "HELLO!? do you know what a #$@##$% you're making yourself look like? your story is ridiculous, and everyone knows it's a lie. now you're backing out of even appearing at an event where a lot of people are spending a lot of money on the assumption that you'll be there. i mean out of decency to your charity you should show up. mainly, i just hate cheaters. maybe he didn't cheat. i don't know. but what else could've happened at 2 a.m. to cause tiger woods to leave his home going that fast and losing control? and why else would the wife be chasing after him with a golf club? but it doesn't even matter. if he cheated or if he didn't, it makes me EXTREMELY angry that he thinks he is above the law b/c he can hit a golf ball. he should be treated exactly as every other human is treated in america if they get into a car accident. GRRRR.
Monday, November 30, 2009
i thought holidays were supposed to be relaxing?
Well, my Thanksgiving weekend was interested to say the least. First of all, Andy came a week early to help me pack up the lake house. i can't say enough about how grateful i am for andy. he literally packed my entire house and cleaned the entire thing. it was sparkling clean! he also loaded everything but a few of the bigger items all on his own. well after a week of stressful packing and work issues it was finally wednesday. it was then that i realized that i had told my brother i would make homemade noodles.. but i'd packed up my entire kitchen. YIKES. so andy and i bought a ton of stuff at walmart, that i didn't need to make these noodles. these noodles aren't just any noodles. they are my grandmas noodles that i grew up eating at every single holiday. i had never made them on my own. my mom and i made them once, but there is something very different about making them on your own! i was scared, and i didn't have a kitchen full of appliances. i managed to mix them, roll them and cut them. 
then, i let them set out over night. i woke up at 6 a.m. in order to boil and cook the noodles for our 3 p.m. thanksgiving meal. it was at 6 in the morning that i realized that i had a can of chicken, but no can opener. andy to the rescue. i dragged him out of bed, and he used the one knife i had to get the can open. he's a miracle worker! haha i was scared to do it alone but guess what!?!i made them on my own and they were DELICIOUS! 
After the noodles were cooking, it was time to move out some of the heavier things like my bed, my couch and my huge tv and tv stand. i had told andy all week that i was certain i was strong enough to help him lift my large, leather couch.. but as i put my hands underneath and tried with all my might.. i realized that i wasn't as strong as i once was. lol. i was pulling up as hard as i could.. and the couch wasn't budging. well andy gave me a pep talk and i don't know how but i turned into the incredible hulk. i lifted that couch with pride! and the mattress! and oh did i feel it the next 2 days.
anyway, then we made our way to myrtle beach. i must admit, i sort of loved it being in the 70s on thanksgiving :) we were going to a condo that my brother's girlfriend carmen's mom and dad had rented. so it was carmen, her parents, her little boy caden, chad, andy and me. we had so much fun! caden absolutely loved andy. i'm telling you, all kids automatically LOVE andy. and i mean love.
even carmen's parents were like, "ummm, do you spend a lot of time together or what? he LOVES you!" and i was like "no, this is only like the 4th time caden's even seen andy." haha it must be a red-head thing.
the meal was great, and my noodles were a hit! after eating, andy and i were both stuffed but we couldn't help but focus on how lucky we were to have eachother. we are so in love. andy and alicia's first thanksgiving as a couple, not just best friends :)
after eating andy and i made it down to our hotel. once we were there we changed into our swimsuits and got into the hot tub. with my soreness from lifting a couch, and a matress above my head.. i needed it. lol. in our hotel there was a bowling and pool table floor, so chad and carmen came over to hang out. we ended up playing pool. i'd never played pool before except just messing around, so i wasn't familiar with the rules. andy went first and hit in a solid, and i was on his team. then chad went. it was my turn, and i proudly went up, aimed and fired.. i hit the striped 4. i was sooooooooo excited only to look over to andy who was giving me a stern look.. and chad who was high-fiving me. then andy explained me the rules. oops. but i'd like to say that in that game i also ended the game my hitting in the 8 ball and not scratching.. so i was pretty proud :)
after that we went back to our room. i was having my monthly visitor, and i was in extreme pain. often times i get these HORRIBLE cramps. i wanted drugs badly, but i didn't want us to lose our parking spot right in front of the hotel b/c we were leaving the next morning at 4 a.m. for black friday. the other parking lot for the hotel was super far away, and i didn't want to have to walk at 4 a.m. to our car. so, to my complete surprise, andy offered to walk and get me some medicine. i was in SHOCK. this man can't be real. well off he went at 9:30 at night. he ended up having to walk 1.3 miles before he found an open store. and with the sun down, it was in the 40s. and he was followed by a scary homeless man asking him for a cigarette. he came back with all these medicines and chocolate. i repeat, this man can't be real.
well 4 came all too early the next morning. we were on our way to kohls, and andy was being very supportive. he didn't complain once. after shopping for a few minutes, he got in line and let me continue to shop. i just kept coming back and piling more and more stuff on him. he stood in line for an hour and a half as i shopped. he was such a trooper about it too. he spoils me. a lot.
i guess the people in line behind him kept teasing him, but he still just stood there with a smile. we then went to walmart, target, toys r us, the mall, etc. it was a successful shopping day :)
finally around 4 p.m. my parents and grandparents on my dad's side arrived. the condo my mom had gotten for us all was amazing! as a group we went to the christmas show at the carolina opry. it was so much fun! the singing was absolutely amazing. as was the company :) i love family! the next day we walked on the beach and enjoyed the 70 degree weather on the beach. the view from the balcony was amazing and so, so relaxing. as a family we went to see old dogs.. sooo funny! the whole family ages 2-80 loved it! i recommend it highly. everything was going so beautifully. i should have known that it was too good to be true. sunday morning we said our good byes and went back to the lake house so andy could get his truck and trailor and make the loooong drive back to ohio through the mountains and hellacious traffic. well i followed him to the gas station to say goodbye. when i came out from surprising him with slim jims and drinks for his drive, i knew something was wrong. andy had his serious face on. i looked down and instantly knew why. one of the tires on the trailor was smoking really badly. andy drove over into a vacant lot and got his huge tools out (which by the way amazes me that he knows how to use). it turned out it was the wheel bearing. it was completely destroyed. i don't know the car terms to go into further detail. but it was bad.
and since it was sunday, every tire and mechanic place was closed. so good news - andy gets to stay another day. bad news - andy has to miss work, and he's COMPLETELY stressed about getting it fixed and the cost therein. i tried to keep the mood light in the lot. i smiled a lot, took pictures for the blog, etc. he wasn't amused. 
andy tried calling every single garage in the town. all closed. after lots of calls we decided to just leave it at the gas stations, pray no one broke into the trailer with all of my stuff, pray that someone could fix it in the morning, and pray that andy's boss didn't fire him for missing another day of work. at this point i'm feeling extremely guilty. it's my fault he took a week off to help me move. it's my fault he had to bring his trailer down. etc.
we tried to make the most of our extra day together, but we were both too stressed for that to happen really. we were finally settled in when i heard the news that my nephew brenden hurt his head badly. he was trying to pull onions to make a compost (so cute) with his sister lexie and his friend luke. as he tried to pull an onion out of the ground, he fell back and hit his head on a cement corner. lexie was emotionally a mess, and brenden was in a lot of pain. there was a lot of blood and tears, but i've heard he's doing much better now. i didn't sleep a wink last night. i was so worried about b and about andy getting back safely.. ugh.. andy finally found a place to bring it to this morning, blacks tire. he gets it there at 8 a.m. well at 1, they still haven't started. making a long story short, i had about 4 meltdowns in the morning worried sick! as did andy. he finally left around 3 p.m. which means he will be driving through the mountains with a HUGE, heavy trailer on the back waay to late for my liking. pray for him please. i'll update you as soon as i know :)
then, i let them set out over night. i woke up at 6 a.m. in order to boil and cook the noodles for our 3 p.m. thanksgiving meal. it was at 6 in the morning that i realized that i had a can of chicken, but no can opener. andy to the rescue. i dragged him out of bed, and he used the one knife i had to get the can open. he's a miracle worker! haha i was scared to do it alone but guess what!?!i made them on my own and they were DELICIOUS! 
After the noodles were cooking, it was time to move out some of the heavier things like my bed, my couch and my huge tv and tv stand. i had told andy all week that i was certain i was strong enough to help him lift my large, leather couch.. but as i put my hands underneath and tried with all my might.. i realized that i wasn't as strong as i once was. lol. i was pulling up as hard as i could.. and the couch wasn't budging. well andy gave me a pep talk and i don't know how but i turned into the incredible hulk. i lifted that couch with pride! and the mattress! and oh did i feel it the next 2 days.
anyway, then we made our way to myrtle beach. i must admit, i sort of loved it being in the 70s on thanksgiving :) we were going to a condo that my brother's girlfriend carmen's mom and dad had rented. so it was carmen, her parents, her little boy caden, chad, andy and me. we had so much fun! caden absolutely loved andy. i'm telling you, all kids automatically LOVE andy. and i mean love.
even carmen's parents were like, "ummm, do you spend a lot of time together or what? he LOVES you!" and i was like "no, this is only like the 4th time caden's even seen andy." haha it must be a red-head thing.the meal was great, and my noodles were a hit! after eating, andy and i were both stuffed but we couldn't help but focus on how lucky we were to have eachother. we are so in love. andy and alicia's first thanksgiving as a couple, not just best friends :)
after eating andy and i made it down to our hotel. once we were there we changed into our swimsuits and got into the hot tub. with my soreness from lifting a couch, and a matress above my head.. i needed it. lol. in our hotel there was a bowling and pool table floor, so chad and carmen came over to hang out. we ended up playing pool. i'd never played pool before except just messing around, so i wasn't familiar with the rules. andy went first and hit in a solid, and i was on his team. then chad went. it was my turn, and i proudly went up, aimed and fired.. i hit the striped 4. i was sooooooooo excited only to look over to andy who was giving me a stern look.. and chad who was high-fiving me. then andy explained me the rules. oops. but i'd like to say that in that game i also ended the game my hitting in the 8 ball and not scratching.. so i was pretty proud :)
after that we went back to our room. i was having my monthly visitor, and i was in extreme pain. often times i get these HORRIBLE cramps. i wanted drugs badly, but i didn't want us to lose our parking spot right in front of the hotel b/c we were leaving the next morning at 4 a.m. for black friday. the other parking lot for the hotel was super far away, and i didn't want to have to walk at 4 a.m. to our car. so, to my complete surprise, andy offered to walk and get me some medicine. i was in SHOCK. this man can't be real. well off he went at 9:30 at night. he ended up having to walk 1.3 miles before he found an open store. and with the sun down, it was in the 40s. and he was followed by a scary homeless man asking him for a cigarette. he came back with all these medicines and chocolate. i repeat, this man can't be real.
well 4 came all too early the next morning. we were on our way to kohls, and andy was being very supportive. he didn't complain once. after shopping for a few minutes, he got in line and let me continue to shop. i just kept coming back and piling more and more stuff on him. he stood in line for an hour and a half as i shopped. he was such a trooper about it too. he spoils me. a lot.
i guess the people in line behind him kept teasing him, but he still just stood there with a smile. we then went to walmart, target, toys r us, the mall, etc. it was a successful shopping day :)finally around 4 p.m. my parents and grandparents on my dad's side arrived. the condo my mom had gotten for us all was amazing! as a group we went to the christmas show at the carolina opry. it was so much fun! the singing was absolutely amazing. as was the company :) i love family! the next day we walked on the beach and enjoyed the 70 degree weather on the beach. the view from the balcony was amazing and so, so relaxing. as a family we went to see old dogs.. sooo funny! the whole family ages 2-80 loved it! i recommend it highly. everything was going so beautifully. i should have known that it was too good to be true. sunday morning we said our good byes and went back to the lake house so andy could get his truck and trailor and make the loooong drive back to ohio through the mountains and hellacious traffic. well i followed him to the gas station to say goodbye. when i came out from surprising him with slim jims and drinks for his drive, i knew something was wrong. andy had his serious face on. i looked down and instantly knew why. one of the tires on the trailor was smoking really badly. andy drove over into a vacant lot and got his huge tools out (which by the way amazes me that he knows how to use). it turned out it was the wheel bearing. it was completely destroyed. i don't know the car terms to go into further detail. but it was bad.
and since it was sunday, every tire and mechanic place was closed. so good news - andy gets to stay another day. bad news - andy has to miss work, and he's COMPLETELY stressed about getting it fixed and the cost therein. i tried to keep the mood light in the lot. i smiled a lot, took pictures for the blog, etc. he wasn't amused. 
andy tried calling every single garage in the town. all closed. after lots of calls we decided to just leave it at the gas stations, pray no one broke into the trailer with all of my stuff, pray that someone could fix it in the morning, and pray that andy's boss didn't fire him for missing another day of work. at this point i'm feeling extremely guilty. it's my fault he took a week off to help me move. it's my fault he had to bring his trailer down. etc.
we tried to make the most of our extra day together, but we were both too stressed for that to happen really. we were finally settled in when i heard the news that my nephew brenden hurt his head badly. he was trying to pull onions to make a compost (so cute) with his sister lexie and his friend luke. as he tried to pull an onion out of the ground, he fell back and hit his head on a cement corner. lexie was emotionally a mess, and brenden was in a lot of pain. there was a lot of blood and tears, but i've heard he's doing much better now. i didn't sleep a wink last night. i was so worried about b and about andy getting back safely.. ugh.. andy finally found a place to bring it to this morning, blacks tire. he gets it there at 8 a.m. well at 1, they still haven't started. making a long story short, i had about 4 meltdowns in the morning worried sick! as did andy. he finally left around 3 p.m. which means he will be driving through the mountains with a HUGE, heavy trailer on the back waay to late for my liking. pray for him please. i'll update you as soon as i know :)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
it's the most wonderful time of the year :)
Ok, i have to get better at this whole updating my blog thing! things have been pretty hectic, though. i must admit.
in the past month i've been packing up my lake house. i just didn't feel safe there, so i'm staying at my brothers until february. i'm so excited to finally move back to ohio - and this time for good! andy and i will be living somewhere on the west side of columbus near his job. i've been applying for jobs like crazy, but i haven't had any luck at all. i don't get it, though, because i can get any job - even jobs i'm not qualified for - in nyc, utah and north carolina.. but i can't seem to get a job in ohio to save my life :( pray for me!
a few weeks ago andy flew down for the train concert. while i was sitting there waiting for him, i couldn't help but realize how much love is in the world. to me, you see the saddest and the happiest people in airports -- but both have such strong emotions b/c of their love for the person coming or going. i sat there crying as i watched families saying their goodbyes; children holding to their fathers legs begging them not to leave; wives holding to their husbands hand so tightly; fathers begging the mother to not leave them with 4 children all under the age of 6; best friends parting, unsure when they'll see eachother again. all of them... drenched in tears. and i could certainly relate. going to school 2,000 miles away and now living 4 states away has put me in a world that has come all to used to saying goodbye in airports. and you know what? it never gets easier. it gets harder. sadder with each goodbye. i was always surprised at how well my parents kept it together when we parted at the airport when i was at byu. once i asked my dad why they didn't cry. he told me they stayed strong for me, but that he'd never seen my mom weep so tenderly as when she got in the car after dropping me off. and for those of you who know my father, although he didn't mention his tears, something tells me his tears numbered to millions. but anyway, then there's the flip side. the people who are picking up their loved ones. these displays of love are my favorite, by far. three of my favorites from this particular trip.
1. a father with three children. the little girl's hair is unkempt, put up in what appears to be a side ponytail gone bad. her shirt is on backwards, her shoes on the wrong feet. a little boy who has gum in his hair, who keeps complaining that it's "tickling his head." the father replies, "i don't know how to get gum out!? just wait 15 more minutes, your mom will fix it." and the third child, the oldest of the three, probably about 12. well he looks fine, but he keeps yelling cuss words and lets just say continues to let out air. all three are running in different directions. i hear the father say on the phone, "I pray she never leaves again." after he gets off the phone, i see the little girl wandering off. so i get her and bring her back. he says, "thank you so much." to which i reply, "your children are adorable." PAUSE. SIGH. "You should see them with their mother around. A week with only me, you'd think they were homeless."
2. a little old man with a walker. he is sitting there and i notice he's writing in a notepad, his hands shaking. after a minute, i notice he is crying. he's beside me, so i can't help but look to see what he's writing. it's a journal. it says, "it's been 5 years since linda passed. i haven't seen any of our children since. today will change that." i had to go to the bathroom to control my tears. when i returned i handed him a tissue. he looked at me and smiled. we had eye contact for what seemed like a year. my heart broke for this little, lonely man.
3. a girl chewing her nails. she is clearly dying to see whoever it is she's waiting for. she keeps pacing back and forth. as flights are delayed, she yells out cuss words. i hear her on the phone yelling at us airways, demanding that the flight stop circling the airport. her enthusiasm was intriguing to me. who was she waiting for? every time people would start coming out, she'd get so excited -- pushing everyone out of her way, including me and little children. she started to smoke at one point. a security man came over, told her to put it out. she wasn't happy. she yelled at him and put it out. then she said, "great now my breath smells!?" i offered her some gum. she didn't even look at me, she just grabbed it quickly. it ended up being her boyfriend, who had just gotten back from iraq.
and then there was me. waiting on the love of my life. our embraces when he leaves are tearful with my nails digging into his arm as though that will make the minutes last longer - it doesn't. our reunions are happy. a joyful hug. a long, special kiss.
andy's visit was amazing. we had so, so much fun! the concert was amazing. uncle kracker opened. he was actually really good live, which surprised me. as always, though, i had the most annoying girls to the right of me. they kept screaming and yelling obscenities, explaining what they wanted to do to uncle kracker. at one point they did get the guitarist's attention. when he heard what they were proposing he just shook his head in disgust. these girls were gross. they had hair to their knees in ponytails that kept whisping me in the face. neither of them were wearing bras and they were both well over 250 pounds. they kept drinking and drinking, which of course only made them louder and more inappropriate in their comments. anyway, it didn't detract from how amazing train was. i found myself really missing his solo album songs though. i think i like them more than most of his train songs.. which i didn't realize until i was there and he didn't sing a single one of them :( anyway, andy, chad, carmen and i had a lot of fun. it was funny though, on the drive home it was like 1:30 and andy and i were DYING. i mean DEAD tired. am i really getting that old? haha
Andy left very early on Monday morning. the week was slow! but andy came back saturday with his truck and a trailer so he could transport all my stuff back to ohio. i was so worried about him driving! but he made it safely :) that night we went to see the movie "the blind side." i really, really liked it. when we got in the car i said, "well, if my parents see that then there will be a large black boy in our home at christmas." we both laughed.. but secretly, i think we're both wondering if that actually might happen :)
so that brings me to now. i have to work while andy is at home packing and cleaning. i HATE that he's doing it all alone. i HATE that i'm at work with people who are extremely rude to me daily. ugh! oh, and yesterday was our anniversary :) i love andy, and i can't wait to be his wife. only 137 days until our wedding!
thursday we are having thanksgiving with my brother, his gf and her parents and her son, caden. i'm so excited to eat like crazy. i'm making homemade noodles.. my favorite :) then on friday andy and i are going black friday shopping. SOOO EXITED :) and that day my parents and grandma and grandpa coffman will be arriving. things are looking up for this week.
what am i grateful for:
andy
my precious family
the gospel
my job (even though it ends in february)
technology
did i mention andy?
did i mention my family?
oh, quickly i'd like to say something about the whole rihanna thing. the whole thing doesn't make sense to me. in interviews, she doesn't even shed a tear. as someone who's gone through it and met many women who have as well in various support groups, i have NEVER seen someone talk about their attack in such a calm, almost happy sort of way. not to mention, i think it's odd she is giving the world such intimate details. speak out against domestic violence - absolutely! she should! go into details.. hmm, not so sure on that one.
in the past month i've been packing up my lake house. i just didn't feel safe there, so i'm staying at my brothers until february. i'm so excited to finally move back to ohio - and this time for good! andy and i will be living somewhere on the west side of columbus near his job. i've been applying for jobs like crazy, but i haven't had any luck at all. i don't get it, though, because i can get any job - even jobs i'm not qualified for - in nyc, utah and north carolina.. but i can't seem to get a job in ohio to save my life :( pray for me!
a few weeks ago andy flew down for the train concert. while i was sitting there waiting for him, i couldn't help but realize how much love is in the world. to me, you see the saddest and the happiest people in airports -- but both have such strong emotions b/c of their love for the person coming or going. i sat there crying as i watched families saying their goodbyes; children holding to their fathers legs begging them not to leave; wives holding to their husbands hand so tightly; fathers begging the mother to not leave them with 4 children all under the age of 6; best friends parting, unsure when they'll see eachother again. all of them... drenched in tears. and i could certainly relate. going to school 2,000 miles away and now living 4 states away has put me in a world that has come all to used to saying goodbye in airports. and you know what? it never gets easier. it gets harder. sadder with each goodbye. i was always surprised at how well my parents kept it together when we parted at the airport when i was at byu. once i asked my dad why they didn't cry. he told me they stayed strong for me, but that he'd never seen my mom weep so tenderly as when she got in the car after dropping me off. and for those of you who know my father, although he didn't mention his tears, something tells me his tears numbered to millions. but anyway, then there's the flip side. the people who are picking up their loved ones. these displays of love are my favorite, by far. three of my favorites from this particular trip.
1. a father with three children. the little girl's hair is unkempt, put up in what appears to be a side ponytail gone bad. her shirt is on backwards, her shoes on the wrong feet. a little boy who has gum in his hair, who keeps complaining that it's "tickling his head." the father replies, "i don't know how to get gum out!? just wait 15 more minutes, your mom will fix it." and the third child, the oldest of the three, probably about 12. well he looks fine, but he keeps yelling cuss words and lets just say continues to let out air. all three are running in different directions. i hear the father say on the phone, "I pray she never leaves again." after he gets off the phone, i see the little girl wandering off. so i get her and bring her back. he says, "thank you so much." to which i reply, "your children are adorable." PAUSE. SIGH. "You should see them with their mother around. A week with only me, you'd think they were homeless."
2. a little old man with a walker. he is sitting there and i notice he's writing in a notepad, his hands shaking. after a minute, i notice he is crying. he's beside me, so i can't help but look to see what he's writing. it's a journal. it says, "it's been 5 years since linda passed. i haven't seen any of our children since. today will change that." i had to go to the bathroom to control my tears. when i returned i handed him a tissue. he looked at me and smiled. we had eye contact for what seemed like a year. my heart broke for this little, lonely man.
3. a girl chewing her nails. she is clearly dying to see whoever it is she's waiting for. she keeps pacing back and forth. as flights are delayed, she yells out cuss words. i hear her on the phone yelling at us airways, demanding that the flight stop circling the airport. her enthusiasm was intriguing to me. who was she waiting for? every time people would start coming out, she'd get so excited -- pushing everyone out of her way, including me and little children. she started to smoke at one point. a security man came over, told her to put it out. she wasn't happy. she yelled at him and put it out. then she said, "great now my breath smells!?" i offered her some gum. she didn't even look at me, she just grabbed it quickly. it ended up being her boyfriend, who had just gotten back from iraq.
and then there was me. waiting on the love of my life. our embraces when he leaves are tearful with my nails digging into his arm as though that will make the minutes last longer - it doesn't. our reunions are happy. a joyful hug. a long, special kiss.
andy's visit was amazing. we had so, so much fun! the concert was amazing. uncle kracker opened. he was actually really good live, which surprised me. as always, though, i had the most annoying girls to the right of me. they kept screaming and yelling obscenities, explaining what they wanted to do to uncle kracker. at one point they did get the guitarist's attention. when he heard what they were proposing he just shook his head in disgust. these girls were gross. they had hair to their knees in ponytails that kept whisping me in the face. neither of them were wearing bras and they were both well over 250 pounds. they kept drinking and drinking, which of course only made them louder and more inappropriate in their comments. anyway, it didn't detract from how amazing train was. i found myself really missing his solo album songs though. i think i like them more than most of his train songs.. which i didn't realize until i was there and he didn't sing a single one of them :( anyway, andy, chad, carmen and i had a lot of fun. it was funny though, on the drive home it was like 1:30 and andy and i were DYING. i mean DEAD tired. am i really getting that old? haha
Andy left very early on Monday morning. the week was slow! but andy came back saturday with his truck and a trailer so he could transport all my stuff back to ohio. i was so worried about him driving! but he made it safely :) that night we went to see the movie "the blind side." i really, really liked it. when we got in the car i said, "well, if my parents see that then there will be a large black boy in our home at christmas." we both laughed.. but secretly, i think we're both wondering if that actually might happen :)
so that brings me to now. i have to work while andy is at home packing and cleaning. i HATE that he's doing it all alone. i HATE that i'm at work with people who are extremely rude to me daily. ugh! oh, and yesterday was our anniversary :) i love andy, and i can't wait to be his wife. only 137 days until our wedding!
thursday we are having thanksgiving with my brother, his gf and her parents and her son, caden. i'm so excited to eat like crazy. i'm making homemade noodles.. my favorite :) then on friday andy and i are going black friday shopping. SOOO EXITED :) and that day my parents and grandma and grandpa coffman will be arriving. things are looking up for this week.
what am i grateful for:
andy
my precious family
the gospel
my job (even though it ends in february)
technology
did i mention andy?
did i mention my family?
oh, quickly i'd like to say something about the whole rihanna thing. the whole thing doesn't make sense to me. in interviews, she doesn't even shed a tear. as someone who's gone through it and met many women who have as well in various support groups, i have NEVER seen someone talk about their attack in such a calm, almost happy sort of way. not to mention, i think it's odd she is giving the world such intimate details. speak out against domestic violence - absolutely! she should! go into details.. hmm, not so sure on that one.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
carving pumpkins
I wanted to do a special post for pumpkin carving and trick-or-treat. my experiences in both this year were hilarious and fabulous.
first, we did pumpkin carving while i was in ohio. andy, b, lexie and i started around 5 p.m. i completely forgot how disgusting it is to pull out all the grossness from inside. luckily, lexie was kind enough to help me. she's up for anything. and it's adorable! after about an hour my dad meandered outside. we called him over and he grabbed a pumpkin. somehow - i have no clue how!? - he had his pumpkin cleaned out in about 3 minutes. surprised, i told him to pick a stencil out. he told me that those things were "trash" and he was going to do it his way. so, he got his little pocket knife and without even drawing an outline started to carve. andy and i were trying to hold in our laughter. when my dad proudly held up his finished product, we were all speechless. it had one eye up really high, the other being lower and barely a slit open. he said that was because it was "winking." lol. he had two little buck teeth and a triangle nose. it was a sad little pumpkin. he brought it in proudly to show my mom. her response was, "what is that?!" lol!! so she took over. with the help of a stencil she was able to use what he'd done and create a masterpiece. it looked amazing.
After awhile, we were all ready to go in. andy took charge and helped the kids and i get our stencils on our pumpkins. andy's patience and energy is astounding to me. i'm always joking with him that when he gets to be my age (23) he won't have all that energy. lol. but seriously, he is amazing. he just takes care of everything! lexie and b started carving away. and i'm here to tell you that lexie is one hardcore, strong, multi-talented chick!
she carved her little heart out! and didn't complain once! not once! she is such an amazing little girl :) in the meantime, andy was given my mom's huge pumpkin to put out front. this was a huge responsibility that he took very seriously! he was working so meticulously on this pumpkin! his concentration level was at a high. lol. 
he and i are so different. he has his architecture mind and i have my writers mind. we go about just about everything differently. i go for it emotionally, he goes for it logically. haha. but, his hard work and careful execution paid off. his pumpkin was amazing. 
i was proud of my little ghost pumpkin too! although no one seemed impressed.. i sure was with myself :) i ended up bringing it to my grandparents so they could have one to sit out on their step. they seemed very excited about it.
little lexie was the second finished. her cat was amazing! b took a little longer because, the poor little thing, had the thickest pumpkin of us all. but the end result was fabulous. they looked great, and we really did have so much fun doing it together as a family.
family truly is heaven on earth.
since my latest scare at the lake, i've been living with my brother. so, i went trick-or-treating with him and his girlfriend carmen and her little boy caden. he was dressed as a priate. and sooo cute. well, we were driving to go get our candy on when i looked over at caden. he looked sad and wouldn't smile at me no matter what i did. all of a sudden, he started throwing up. all over his costume and his car seat. chad pulled over, and we changed his clothes. but he wasn't done. about 20 minutes down the road.. he threw up again :( so needless to say, we didn't go trick-or-treating :(
first, we did pumpkin carving while i was in ohio. andy, b, lexie and i started around 5 p.m. i completely forgot how disgusting it is to pull out all the grossness from inside. luckily, lexie was kind enough to help me. she's up for anything. and it's adorable! after about an hour my dad meandered outside. we called him over and he grabbed a pumpkin. somehow - i have no clue how!? - he had his pumpkin cleaned out in about 3 minutes. surprised, i told him to pick a stencil out. he told me that those things were "trash" and he was going to do it his way. so, he got his little pocket knife and without even drawing an outline started to carve. andy and i were trying to hold in our laughter. when my dad proudly held up his finished product, we were all speechless. it had one eye up really high, the other being lower and barely a slit open. he said that was because it was "winking." lol. he had two little buck teeth and a triangle nose. it was a sad little pumpkin. he brought it in proudly to show my mom. her response was, "what is that?!" lol!! so she took over. with the help of a stencil she was able to use what he'd done and create a masterpiece. it looked amazing.
After awhile, we were all ready to go in. andy took charge and helped the kids and i get our stencils on our pumpkins. andy's patience and energy is astounding to me. i'm always joking with him that when he gets to be my age (23) he won't have all that energy. lol. but seriously, he is amazing. he just takes care of everything! lexie and b started carving away. and i'm here to tell you that lexie is one hardcore, strong, multi-talented chick!
she carved her little heart out! and didn't complain once! not once! she is such an amazing little girl :) in the meantime, andy was given my mom's huge pumpkin to put out front. this was a huge responsibility that he took very seriously! he was working so meticulously on this pumpkin! his concentration level was at a high. lol. 
he and i are so different. he has his architecture mind and i have my writers mind. we go about just about everything differently. i go for it emotionally, he goes for it logically. haha. but, his hard work and careful execution paid off. his pumpkin was amazing. 
i was proud of my little ghost pumpkin too! although no one seemed impressed.. i sure was with myself :) i ended up bringing it to my grandparents so they could have one to sit out on their step. they seemed very excited about it.
little lexie was the second finished. her cat was amazing! b took a little longer because, the poor little thing, had the thickest pumpkin of us all. but the end result was fabulous. they looked great, and we really did have so much fun doing it together as a family.
family truly is heaven on earth.
since my latest scare at the lake, i've been living with my brother. so, i went trick-or-treating with him and his girlfriend carmen and her little boy caden. he was dressed as a priate. and sooo cute. well, we were driving to go get our candy on when i looked over at caden. he looked sad and wouldn't smile at me no matter what i did. all of a sudden, he started throwing up. all over his costume and his car seat. chad pulled over, and we changed his clothes. but he wasn't done. about 20 minutes down the road.. he threw up again :( so needless to say, we didn't go trick-or-treating :(
it may be time to say goodbye to facebook
so, after a few days of literally crying over facebook, i'm starting to think that it may be time for me to get rid of it. i don't know if i'm overly sensitive or what.. but am i the only person who gets hurt when people ignore their messages to them? i mean how am i supposed to feel when i write them messages and they ignore me but write back everyone else. then, i posted my engagement pictures. and a lot of people commented on them. but a ton of people didn't. it really hurt my feelings. i've been there for so many of my friends as they've gotten married. i've been excited for them. i've helped them with anything i could for their weddings. but now that it's FINALLY my turn, no one seems to care. i kept ignoring it.. but i can't ignore it anymore. i feel like no matter how much i do for other people, it's never reciprocated.
anyway, a few weeks ago i went home. it was a lot of fun. thursday i picked the kids up from school and played with them. friday we got a ton of wedding stuff accomplished, then babysat the lexie and camryn. we made cookies.
it was adorable. camryn had this little cat tail on and she wouldn't take it off. soo hilarious! saturday we had engagement pictures taken, which ended up being a lot of fun. sunday we went to church then carved pumpkins. monday we had lunch with my grandparents and played with the kids. tuesday i sadly returned to north carolina.
sorry this post is a bit depressing. but i'm really feeling upset. i don't appreciate being ignored. and i REALLY am bothered by the fact that all of these girls who were married in the last 5 years and had all my love, support and help are now ignoring that it's finally my turn. :**(
anyway, a few weeks ago i went home. it was a lot of fun. thursday i picked the kids up from school and played with them. friday we got a ton of wedding stuff accomplished, then babysat the lexie and camryn. we made cookies.
it was adorable. camryn had this little cat tail on and she wouldn't take it off. soo hilarious! saturday we had engagement pictures taken, which ended up being a lot of fun. sunday we went to church then carved pumpkins. monday we had lunch with my grandparents and played with the kids. tuesday i sadly returned to north carolina.sorry this post is a bit depressing. but i'm really feeling upset. i don't appreciate being ignored. and i REALLY am bothered by the fact that all of these girls who were married in the last 5 years and had all my love, support and help are now ignoring that it's finally my turn. :**(
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